Capstone: summer plan

I must say that I was not expecting to have to update this blog anymore with Capstone thoughts, but since it seems that the blog, the Capstone, and I are going to be engaged in an academic three-way for a little while longer, I will try to make the best of the situation. That being said, I should give the update about what the hell it is I’m doing (because I have decided at long last).

As I said in my proposal, I have always avoided writing about myself. It makes me very, very vulnerable, which is something that I loathe being. But I made a promise to myself to make my Capstone challenging. To me, the best writing is the stuff that is hard to write. It’s the author’s bare bones on the page (or screen in the case of a blog). It’s standing naked in front of a room full of your closest friends and having them point out your flaws. I realized that the only way for me to become a better writer is to leave my comfort zone and write about things that I thought I never would. That’s why I’ve chosen to write my Capstone about my brother, whose drug addiction tore my whole world apart and destroyed my family.

Where I stand in my thinking about the Capstone is this: I need to start writing. Memories fade with time, and mine are no exception. I’ve kept a diary throughout my life, but I was careful never to mention my brother because I was afraid of my parents finding them and getting angry with me for writing it down. So as it stands right now, the only things I have about my brother’s addiction are the only that are in my head. So I really need to start jotting down notes and making a timeline of events before everything begins to blur together any more than it already has. There is one person, my closet friend, who knows all the tales and all the heartbreak that I have endured because of this, so she is the one to talk to about getting everything straight. That girl has a memory like an elephant, so I know she’ll be able to correct any mistakes that I may make in my timeline.

I also know that I need to talk to my parents about this Capstone before I’ve finished the thing and everyone in my senior Professional Writing program is reading this story, and it’s too late to tell them, or warn them, or whatever. Because if I write the honest truth, no one in my family is coming out clean. We are all guilty, and we will all be villainized in some way. I mentioned to my mother, off-handedly, once that I wanted to write my Capstone about my brother, and she simply said, “Absolutely not.” Case closed. I know I won’t ever get their approval, but I need to at least get them out of denial about me writing it. And I need to accept for myself that they don’t approve and probably won’t ever read it. Like I said before, the hardest things to write are the most worthwhile. (I hope.)

Once I get those two things out of the way, I know that I need to start tackling the list of resources that I made for myself in my proposal. They are mostly movies, which should be easy to watch given that I am dating the biggest movie buff I have ever met, who would be more than willing to sit down and watch a couple movies with me. (He might even (il)legally download for me.) I was asked an interesting question by one of the professors in charge of the Capstone: am I planning to make this story into a script? That is something that I need to consider, I guess. I had planned to write a standard non-fiction piece, but since I am watching so many movies to prepare for writing it, maybe I should write a script.

Basically I have a lot to figure out before I have to start writing this beast. But luckily, I have the entire summer to think about it before any actual work starts. So, I am going to take these next few months and plan out what I want to do. Maybe even make an outline of what it will look like. And I’ll see what happens from there.

Wish me luck. I’m going to need all that I can get.

Hello again, it's been a long time

I just recently moved into my very first apartment. As I was unpacking, I came across all the diaries that I’ve kept during my life. I had no idea where they came from, so like the child that I still am on the inside, I called my mother. The saint that she is had found them when she was packing up underneath my bed for me (I was too busy throwing a temper tantrum to my father, I’m sure), and she thought I might find them amusing. And amusing, they were.

So the day I moved into my apartment, instead of unpacking or doing anything in the realm of productive, I sat down and read through fifteen hardcover notebooks that were preserved with love in an old shoebox, and I reacquainted myself with my former self. It’s amazing the things I had forgotten. Crushes whose names I had long since spoken, people who seemed so important to me at the time, people I thought I couldn’t live without, people who were forgotten over time. I read those diaries and I felt I was meeting a whole new person. So, in honor of that person that I found, I am going to do something that I haven’t done since December 3, 2006: my top five’s.

I am not much for playing the “favorite” game anymore, but apparently I used to be. My favorites were all over the place in those pages. So, for old time’s sake, here I go:

Actors:
Russell Crowe
Vin Diesel
Mark Wahlberg
Christian Bale
Bradley Cooper

Movies:
All Over The Guy
Catch and Release
Heights
Labyrinth
The 24th Day

Books:
A Clockwork Orange – Anthony Burgess
A Separate Peace – John Knowles
Dear John – Nicholas Sparks
The Neverending Story – Michael Ende
Less Than Zero – Bret Easton Ellis

Songs:
Iris – The Goo Goo Dolls
Existentialism on Prom Night – Straylight Run
Undisclosed Desires – Muse
Wait – Something Corporate
Walking By – Something Corporate

TV Shows:
Queer as Folk
Dawson’s Creek
OZ
Heroes
Sex and the City

I just spent the last hour thinking up that list. The consensus I found was that my top three choices were always solid and easy to make, but then I started to get unsure as the list got more towards the bottom. This is why I avoid the “favorites” game—it’s so damn hard to just pick a couple things that I love.

I’m done school for the summer now so I plan to do a lot more writing. If any of you nine followers are still with me reading this thing, I can assure you that there will be less academic posts and more fun ones to come shortly. I, of course, don’t have the Internet at my new apartment, but I am working out a plan to sell my soul to the devil in order to check Facebook so I’ll be around.

<3

My best works

Hi everyone!

As you can tell, I've added a couple new page additions. Here's the reason: I am creating a portfolio of my best works and I haven't gotten around to set up a separate space for them yet. So, right now, they are going to chill here and become best friends with my blog postings. If any of you faithful followers become curious, be my guest and take a look at them to see what you think. Right now there are only three pieces up because I’m going through a particularly brutal period of self-doubt, but once my faith is restored (which, if you have any suggestions to make happen sooner rather than later, shoot those my way), I will be adding more.

Until then, enjoy.

Capstone/Core Cross-over

So I've been giving the ever-present Capstone project a lot of thought since my last post, and I think I have found the way to incorporate all that I've learned in taking the Core classes with my writing. It's still a work in progress and most certainly rough around the edges, but I'm working on smoothing it out, so bear with me.

I'm going to put together a publication (probably a mix of my work and the work of other writers) that is broken up into sections that tackle some of the topics that I've talked about in my past three years in Core. These are the categories that I've thought of so far: Concepts (of the self and community, these would be the nonfiction-esque pieces that talk about how life experiences have shaped them and those around them); Religion and Politics (for Capitalism & Democracy and Secular & Sacred, these would be pieces that in some way addressed religion or politics, maybe an explorative essay or two); and, Global World (Technology & Development and Human Rights, these pieces would discuss how the world is changing in some way). I have yet to think of ways to incorporate Aesthetics Expressions, Scientific Revolutions, and the Middle East Core classes, but I can assure you that I will.

I know that it's rough and I have a lot of work, and writing, ahead of me if I want this publication, or collections of my works as it may turn out to be, to look like how I envision it looking, but I committed to getting this thing accomplished. I have spent far too much time thinking about it already to have it not happen.

That being said, suggestions?

Spring Break Movie Mania

Spring Break was last week, so what else was I going to do but go to the movies? I'm from St. Albans; there aren't a lot of options. This time around I managed to squeeze in three theater trips, and it's safe to say that I had mixed reactions.

Alice In Wonderland

I am a huge fan of the Alice books (Wonderland, Through The Looking Glass) and I love "The Jabberwocky" even more than that. I knew it wouldn't be as good. I knew I would disappointed. But it's Tim Burton, so like pizza, I thought that even if it was bad, it was would still be pretty good…Not so much. To say that I hated it would be a bit of an overreaction, but to say that I enjoyed it would be a lie, as well. It was okay, and it's difficult for me to use such a tame word.

The actress who played Alice, Mia Wasikowska, was charming in a polite way, the Chesire Cat maintained the coolness that I remember from watching the Disney version in my childhood, and Anne Hathaway was flawless as the White Queen. But everything else fell a little (just a little) short of my expectations. The Jabberwocky and Bandersnatch were not childish villains, but they weren't as frightening as the poem makes them out to be, and the Mad Hatter was quite possibly the sanest character in the film.

It was disappointing to see Tim Burton, known for eccentricities, take such a wild tale and create something so flat. This is the first Burton film that I don't want to watch again, and I've had to watch Big Fish several time to recover from the heartbreak.

The Crazies

Let's be honest: the only reason anyone in their right mind would see this film is because of Timothy Olyphant, myself included. The previews looked decent, but from them, you could tell that it wouldn't fall under the terrifying category, but it wasn't really supposed to be funny, either. The one thing I can say about it is that it was a joke. The only thing scary about this movie was that I left feeling like the events of the movie (which I wouldn't ruin for those of you silly enough to watch it like I did) could actually happen. In my hometown. As much as I hate my hometown, it was enough to send a shiver down my spine.

Shutter Island

I didn't care so much about this film, but it was my last night home until May and my father really wanted to, so I agreed. What's a free movie? And it was one of the best decisions that I have made in a long time (which, admittedly, may be kind of sad).

There isn't much to say that wouldn’t ruin the movie for those of you who haven't seen it yet (and you should), but I will say that I went into it thinking that it was about something completely different than it's about. When the movie started I was so lost that I remained lost until the big twist (which is fairly obvious about a half hour in the film) at the end, at which point I understood what lost me before, but gained new things to get confused about.

It is safe to say with this film that you'll want to watch it a second time. Which I plan to as soon as possible.


Now that I'm back at school it becomes a little more difficult to keep up with my movies, but I'm giving it my best shot and will have more to say soon. Until then, farewell, World. <3