Black Swan. Or, why I'd rather stick to The Swan Princess.

I like Darren Aronofsky, but I have no interest in ballet or watching Natalie Portman act crazy for two hours, so I wasn't going to see Black Swan, but my Reviewing class required seeing it for the first assignment, so I reluctantly went. I had even watched the Golden Globes in preparation, and was actually pretty excited to see it given the number of awards it was nominated for (four, in case you were wondering). I usually agree with most of the nominations, but sometimes I just don't get it. Guess which category Black Swan fell under.

While I was in the theater watching Black Swan, I was tremendously bored through the first half. I must have looked at my watch ten times in the first hour to see how much time was remaining before I could go home, but once they started the actual performance of Swan Lake, I thought it picked up and I was willing to say by the end that I thought it was okay. I went home, told my roommate about it, told my best friend, called my brother and talked to him about it (because he had already seen it), and as I kept talking about it, the more I realized that I didn't like it.

I thought it dragged on and on endlessly, which is an amazing accomplishment for a movie that isn't even two hours long. Most of my gripes are with the beginning, and my main issue is timing. It takes one scene to establish that Nina (the main character) is shy and reserved. It takes one scene to demonstrate that Lily (the adversary) is the opposite. It takes one scene to demonstrate that Nina thinks Lily is trying to sabotage her, and one more to show that Nina may just be crazy. It doesn't take an hour. So the first half was especially slow moving and it didn't need to be.

Another issue I had was that the characters said things that were already clear to the audience, but weren't that realistic to a conversation to make it acceptable that they were in the movie anyway. For example, towards the end, Nina's mother says to Nina that the role in Swan Lake is changing her. The audience has already been watching the change take place for over an hour, so there was absolutely no need for the mother to announce this like it was a sudden revelation she had. I could give more examples, but I don't want to spoil the movie. I don't like movies that treat the audience like they aren't intelligent, and this film did just that. If I want to be treated like a six year old, I'll go watch Nest Family's The Swan Princess, not Darren Aronofsky's rendition of the same story.

So, my opinion is that it’s a beautiful movie that appears alright on the surface, but is very flawed upon closer inspection.

Characters you love to hate and hate to love

In my opinion, a television series is made by the characters in it. Often times, it only takes one character to make me love it. Or, at the very least, continue to watch it. Call me easy to please, but I prefer to think of it as being loyal to my fictional soulmates. I have hated shows that I watched because I couldn't give up on my favorite character. So I thought it would be nice to kick off 2011 by paying homage to those selective few who have a special place in my heart. To you guys.

1) Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick) - Gossip Girl
I'll admit I only started watching Gossip Girl recently (11 days ago, in fact, while I was dog sitting), but it only took one episode to get me hooked to this conniving, manipulative, gorgeous piece of man. He kicked off his appearance in the pilot by making sexual reference to almost every girl in the cast of the show, and he's just gotten worse and worse every episode since (or the first season and a half that I've watched, at least). I love him because I can't believe the things he says and does to people. He knows what he wants and he'll stop at nothing to get it, no matter who he has to step on to get it. Perseverance is something I have a great deal of respect for. And, I love a man that doesn't waste his time pretending to be something that he's not. It's quite refreshing. If Chuck Bass were a real person, I would marry him, sexual references and all. So please, Chuck, don't change a thing about yourself.

2) Brian Kinney (Gale Harold) - Queer as Folk
Queer as Folk is my favorite television show of all time, but mainly because Brian Kinney was so irresistible. His motto was always that he believed in sex and not love, which is pretty much the opposite of what I believe in, but again, I can respect a man with values that he sticks to, and not believing in love is pretty much what characterized Brian throughout the series. He was opinionated and outspoken, and often he was a total asshole, but he was never really wrong. He called the other characters out on their bs and they remained his friends because of it. He didn't believe in apologizing or regretting anything, which is something I think everyone can gain a few things by believing in, as well.

3) Chris Keller (Christopher Meloni) - OZ
My mother raised me to love prison shows, and I learned to love them well from her. And if you're going to watch a show about prison, you want the characters to be really despicable. I do anyway. Keller was one such character. He fell in love with another man and because he loved him so much, he helped to break almost every bone in his body, and then somehow managed to get that guy to fall back in love with him. That 's charisma I can envy. He even got the nun to fall for his tricks, which is nothing short of genius. He was remarkable and I know there are people in the world just like him, which is remarkable, as well. He's certainly someone I would want on my side if I ended up in prison for some reason.

Basically, I could go on and on for days talking about characters I love in television shows, but no one compares to these three. They've made my television experience all the better with their presence. Let's see if they can be dethroned in 2011. Good luck, gentlemen. May the most dubious reign victorious.